Ace Admiral

calinlapin:

aceadmiral:

I made a quick post last night about what repulsion/aversion is not, but my initial intention was to write a post about what aversion is. I’ve tried to think of a way that I could, you know, introduce my personal experience and then broaden it out, or try and weave together several people’s…

As always on this subject, I fully agree. The discussion was held on the French AVEN some days ago (probably for the first time) and after some awkwardness everyone agreed.

And I’m quite interested in the distinction between repulsed/erotophobia-love shyness.

But I’m not sure to fully understand what you meant here : “We need to draw the line between aversion and erotophobia/love shyness. […] The problem with comparing them, though, is that aversion becomes, if not pathologized, at least equated on some level to an illness.”

I mean, I do understand the distinction and the need to separate the two notions on an intellectual basis, but, what about aces who feel erotophobic ? I do think they should be cared about exactly in the same way as repulsed aces. Don’t you ?

I don’t mean to imply that erotophobic aces are somehow not “worthy” aces; I completely agree with you. One can certainly be legitimately asexual at the same time as being legitimately erotophobic, and I don’t think the handling of that person’s erotophobia should change depending on their orientation, i.e. no telling sexual minorities that the only reason they’re not straight is because of their fear and/or trauma.

That said, I do think it’s important to point out the distinction, because repulsed/aversive aces make up a whole lot of the community (as one might expect), and if fellow aces can’t get why expecting “real” aces to be indifferent is creepy, it’s going to be hard to convince poikkisexual people. Well, and, I think some people just weren’t really thinking about what the implications were of what they were saying. For example, one of the people I was most saddened and hurt to see saying such things has since apologized.

Erotophobia or anti-sex views are not unique issues to the ace community, I guess, but aversion/repulsion is, and so I think it’s important that aces/graces/demis (and allies :D?) be educated as to what repulsion is and be able to explain/defend it clearly in case they’re ever asked.